I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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