absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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