smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
