im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
