i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize