Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
