he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
