I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
