That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
