Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
