I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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