I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bang-toberfest begins!!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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