So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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