But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I heard we made out
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
