I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
