I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your cock deserves a montage
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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