Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
