fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Randomize
