So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
