My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I FOUND THE LEGS
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
