its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
