your parents love me but you hate me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
