Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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