he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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