is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
