it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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