haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
