I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
