You work out of a Hotel?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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