All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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