I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
