you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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