i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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