I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
