Whod you bang
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
