hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize