It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
