My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
