Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
