I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
