kristin has been a bad kristin
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wish there were birth control emojis
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
