He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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