hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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