I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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