the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just want to make out with him forever
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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