This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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