Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
