okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
