The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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