New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
