One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
