Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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