Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
