Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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