I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
