Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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