well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
