he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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