I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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