I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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